How to Find a Godly Guy
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Do you really believe that Christ can fill you as your All in all? Instead, I was building my happiness and security upon my love story with Eric, instead of on my relationship with Christ.
You never know how many hearts you impact for God. This is back in the days if you can believe it without cell phones and without email.
How to Find a Godly Guy
With episodes on purity, purpose, devotional living, true beauty, Bible study, mentoring, leadership, friendships, romantic relationships, marriage, and family, this soul-stirring podcast will encourage you to surrender your life to the one true King and find true fulfillment and purpose in Him! Leslie tackles challenging topics, like whether online dating is good or bad, how to act around a godly man you are attracted to, and what to do when you are tempted to lower your standards. As Christian women today feel an immense pressure to follow the path of the culture in relationships, it is imperative that we are armed with a biblical mindset to navigate this area in a God-honoring way. Leslie tackles challenging topics, like whether online dating is good or bad, how to act around a godly man you are attracted to, and what to do when you are tempted to lower your standards. As Christian women today feel an immense pressure to follow the path of the culture in relationships, it is imperative that we are armed with a biblical mindset to navigate this area in a God-honoring way. PODCAST TRANSCRIPT Leslie Ludy: Hey, everyone! Christian single women feel such a pressure to follow the path of the culture when it comes to finding a relationship, finding the one they are going to marry, finding their identity in a relationship. Those issues really are at the forefront. So if you are a mom, or a grandma, or you have influence over teens or singles who are walking through that season, these truths can be really helpful in passing along godly wisdom to things that they may be grappling with. And if you are single, I hope that these biblical truths will encourage you to keep your eyes on Christ in these years of your life rather than being distracted by the pressure that is everywhere around you in the culture today. I think that is the opposite message of what we often are hearing from your culture today. Inspiring Biblical Stories of Strength and Virtue Leslie Ludy: So often, whether we are married or single, we are tempted to use our femininity to manipulate men to try to influence men to get what we want. There are some amazing, biblical contrasts to this idea. If you read the story of Esther, what an incredible example of a woman who influenced a man. She needed the king, her husband, to change something pretty extreme in the way that he was ruling his kingdom because he was listening to this evil man, Hamaan, who had convinced him to sign the death sentence of all the Jews. She was going to risk her life, go before him, and appeal to him to change that law and to stop listening to Hamaan. I love her example because instead of rushing in there with her emotion and her manipulation and her charm and her feminine wiles, she actually spent three days with those who served her fasting and praying before she even went into the king. And so, when she went into him, his heart was ready. God has supernaturally worked in his heart to give her favor with him. The story of Ruth is very similar. People sometimes look at Ruth and think, Well, she was aggressive towards Boaz. She went and laid down at his feet when he was sleeping. She chose to lay all of that down and to serve Naomi. She submitted to Naomi, which was, in a sense, submitting to God and yielded herself to be a vessel in the hands of God to accomplish His purposes. Abigail is another great example. She was married to an evil man. She was very godly and wise in how she went to David, knelt before him, and humbly appealed and turned way his anger. I love those three examples because here are women who could have used their feminine wiles; their manipulation to try to get men to what they wanted, and yet they yielded to God, and the result was so powerful that it impacted generations to come! And if You desire me to be married, if You desire this relationship to move forward, I lay that in Your hands, and I desire to be a vessel that You work through to inspire and point the men around me towards You but not to use my feminine wiles and manipulation for my own agenda. I could never meet another guy like that. I yield this back to You. If you keep your hand on the pen and try to script your own story, you hinder the ability for God to write your story in His own time and His own way. You might end up with a decent story — sort of like Isaac and Ishmael. Ishmael was the result of Abraham and Sarah taking matters into their own hands, trying to produce that promised child in their own strength, and it did not turn out well. There was a point in my relationship with Eric when he had expressed the desire, or the interest, in moving beyond a friendship; that he felt that one day God would lead us to get married, but we were definitely holding the relationship with an open hand. We wanted to be led by God the entire way. He had left to go away to missionary school. This is back in the days if you can believe it without cell phones and without email. I remember not having a lot of contact with him when he was gone and being worried that he was going to meet another girl there and lose interest in me and that everything that God had scripted between us would just sort of fade. I was grappling with that struggle and that fear. Do with it what You will. I need to remind him that I exist. I need to manipulate circumstances. And God was so faithful to write the story as He saw fit in His own time and way! Secondly, focus on treating everyone in your life with the same attitude, the same love. Your goal should be in all relationships to point eyes to Jesus and not to draw attention to yourself. But surrender those thoughts back to God, and if they become a distraction to you, begin to pray and meditate on Scripture and truth. There are a lot of Christian messages today that actually seem to imply that flirting is okay and that gently nudging or pushing a guy towards a romantic relationship is good. But if you look all throughout Scripture you see this pattern of the man initiating and the woman responding. It shows a great lack of faith on our part. Read about the adulterous woman in Proverbs 7 as a warning sign of what can happen when we give into that sensuality and trying to entice the man with the way we speak and how we act around him. I love the example of John the Baptist. He was always pointing eyes back to Jesus. That we would get out of the way and that Jesus Christ would be seen. So if your future husband is standing there watching you interact with these guys, would he feel honored? Remember, Proverbs 31:12 is such a powerful reminder that the godly wife does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life — not just after she meets him. Begin living with that idea of how can I honor my future husband in everything that I do — everything that I post online in all of my interactions? There is a common idea that we need to prod guys along, we need to give them a wake up call, we need to push them towards a relationship, but we need to trust that God is able to awaken a man to his calling to be a leader, his calling to take the initiative without us having to manipulate to get that to happen. They never want to take responsibility. And if He wants to write a love story simply through your prayers and your godly example, He can stir a man to take those first steps. Remember with Ruth, she was completely surrendered. There were practical steps that Naomi asked her to take in the redemption of their family line, but she was not selfish or aggressive in pursuing Boaz. They want guys to notice them. I love the story of my sister-in-law Krissy. She just waited on God, and God was so faithful to bring a man into her life in the most unlikely of places, a man who had been waiting for a godly woman and wrote a beautiful love story. Question 4: Is online dating good or bad? For the most part, people get involved in online dating out of impatience. They want to find a relationship; they feel incomplete without a relationship. Do you want to date me? Do you find me interesting? You need to take all these practical steps to try and find a relationship. He created the heavens and the earth. He parted the Red Sea. Of course, if He gives you a very practical leading — talk to this person, go to this church, join this Bible study — maybe He is speaking to you about meeting your future husband in these scenarios. None of that is bad. Check the motives of your heart. Are you truly content and fulfilled in Christ right now? Question 5: How do I keep from lowering my standards for a relationship? Through online dating and the digital world, there are so many opportunities to lower our standards and think, Well, this guy is good enough. I knew a girl once who wrote everything that she wanted in a future husband on her personal blog, and a guy who was a predatory guy read that. And then he transformed himself into this digital version of everything that she wanted in a man. She was deceived by that, and it led to a lot of heartache. That was a huge blessing in my relationship with Eric. To just see him and observe him around his family; to see how he was with his mom and his sister. When you know what true manhood really is, it helps you remember not to be distracted with these counterfeits that are all around us in the culture today and not to waste your time with deceptive men, maybe online. Read the story of King David. What an amazing man of God he was! And read about Jesus, the life of Jesus here in this earth and then the power of Jesus in the book of Revelation. Only God can do that! All we can do as women is encourage, pray, and be an inspiring example. If a man is pushing you beyond what you are comfortable with in any area, in any type of conversation, in any type of relationship and constantly pushing you to lower your standards, you need to step away. In fact, you may need to run away. We are to run from anything that causes us to stumble in the area of youthful lusts. You may need to recruit a protector, a godly parent, a leader, a dad — a godly person who can really step in if the guy is not taking the hint. To honor the fact that God has given you feminine mystery and not to throw that to the wind. The more of Christ you have in your life, the less desperate and the less pressure you feel in the area of relationships. You automatically get in step with God, with how He has designed you to be in guarding your feminine mystery and trusting Him in this area of your life when He is your All in all. Just go to or. I pray you have a blessed and Christ-centered week!
After all, God had said that He wanted to give him a son. But remember that God cares more about this area of your life than even you do. I want to between a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to Me. I believe that selfies cheapen a woman's feminine dignity. Of all the people who would have a reason to go rushing around the countryside and blabbing all these exciting things that were between in her life. But in the issue of trying to snag a guy or impress a guy with selfies, that's a dangerous road to go down.
released December 11, 2018